PROCESSES TO EMPLOY:
Brutal Honesty, I over E, Present/Understand/Fix, Slowing Down Life’s Pace, Internal Focus, Fact-Finding

Most of us spend more time talking to ourselves than to anyone else we use language to think and clarify our thoughts. Whether we are consciously ruminating or thinking on a more subconscious level we are still using language. We have internal dialogues with ourselves, which often represent what we are experiencing in our world. This means we will experience something and use our own internal language to help us understand what has occurred, how we feel about it, and if we need to do something about it.

At other times, we can use language overtly to direct the communicative discourse with other humans, animals, or, at times, with inanimate objects. We may be telling others what we want to see happen, explaining our position, or simply conversing with them. Our internal language is multifaceted and helps us communicate with ourselves and others in many ways.

I will explore the use of internal language as we proceed. I define “internal language” as “inner speech, or self-talk, where our thoughts are not expressed externally, and communication is limited to our own personal dialogue.” As the chapter title suggests, internal language is your inner voice. It is talking to yourself to help organize your world, work through difficult situations, solve problems, and, at times, avoid conflicts, as you shall soon see.

It is important to note that internal language or “self-talk” can be positive and/or negative. It can represent a healthy internal personal environment or attach itself to negative aspects of our internal world. Much of that depends on how mentally, emotionally, and intellectually healthy we are and how we express ourselves through our internal dialogue. It is important to understand the fundamentals of internal language 1st so we can fully understand its role in our lives.

Our internal language can be employed for different reasons and in various ways Some are listed here along with a brief description. I will explore each in greater detail in the next section.

• Self-Talk—The internal dialogue that people have with themselves. We may know we are talking to ourselves, or it may randomly occur without much conscious direction on our part.


• Critiquing—Analyzing the quality of one’s behavior or interaction with other people.


• Internal Conversation—Having an actual internal conversation with someone who is not present.


• Evening the Playing Field—Reviewing a situation in which one feels they were inadequate or treated unfairly and mentally restructuring the scenario to make it appear fairer and more equitable to oneself.


• Reflecting—Thinking about a past situation, such as how a meeting went or how you presented your ideas.


• Setting Goals—Goal-setting can be one of the most productive and positive forms of internal language, provided the goals are realistic and attainable.


• Praying—Talking to God or one’s representation of a higher power.


• Managing Stress—Using positive self-talk techniques to manage stressful people and situations internally.


• Fixing—Focusing on a past situation one feels they mishandled and revising it in their mind to help relieve the pressure and anxiety of feeling they should have handled it differently.


• Visualization—Creating vivid mental images of a desired future outcome or situation. The mental images might be used to rehearse once speech, anticipate possible challenges, and cope with negative emotions. You might rehearse the speech during visualization or you might see yourself delivering the speech.


• Fantasizing—Imagining things, especially impossible or improbable things, and expressing them with internal language.


• Self-Loathing Thoughts—Expressions of intense self-disgust or feeling like a failure, inadequate, or incompetent.